our little corner of the world

merry Christmas in September

2011-09-25T20:40:00.000-07:00

5x7 Folded Card

View the entire collection of cards.

down by the river

2011-06-27T00:19:00.007-07:00

some "practice" pictures i took while we were at the greenbelt today. i hope you'll bear with me while i'm trying to improve and i'm inundating this blog with photos. now, if we could just get charlie to smile without scrunching up his entire face!

priceless conversations

2011-06-12T19:27:00.003-07:00

On Friday J. was having a hard time treating his sister nicely. He decided to pray and ask for the Holy Ghost to help him be nice. After he prayed he went to talk to his sister.

J: S! Guess what! I got the Holy Ghost!
S: Where?
J: In my heart!

wabi sabi photography

2011-06-10T22:55:00.005-07:00

wabi sabi, originally uploaded by jowrites365.

i've been thinking a lot about photography lately, and why i'm drawn to it, and what kind of pictures i want to take.
at millie's ballet dress rehearsal i worked really hard to get some decent pictures of her dancing on stage. i turned off the flash and cranked up the iso (because the pop-up flash on cameras can be so icky.) after her part of the rehearsal was over, she and her classmates leaned against the wall of the orchestra pit, watching the older girls with a little bit of awe. i saw millie standing there with her legs crossed, and i saw her more petite classmate standing on her tippy toes, trying to see over the partition, and it looked so sweet, like one of those moments you can not plan but they mean so much when they come around, y'know? so i pulled my camera out and quickly took off the lens cap, and not wanting to miss the moment or mess it up, i switched the setting from manual to auto, and i pressed the shutter release, and the flash popped up, and this is the picture that resulted.
i can see why a lot of people wouldn't like this picture. there are no smiling faces in it, it isn't very well composed, i had to use a flash to take it, the list goes on and on. but i LOVE this picture because it says so much about the moment in which it was taken.
and now we come to wabi sabi photography. i was reading this post (i love that blog!), and when she mentioned "imperfect beauty" i thought, "THAT'S IT!" that's what i love but i never had a term for it. imperfect beauty. that's what wabi sabi is, the japanese concept of beauty that focuses on the imperfect, the unfinished, the asymmetrical. those are the kinds of photographs i like.
and i decided right then and there, if i ever start a photography business, it'll be called wabi sabi photography.
the end, thank you for reading my rant.

p.s. this concept goes along so well with the lyrics from one of my favorite songs, by leonard cohen, that i've shared here and on facebook so many times before. but it bears repeating:

ring the bells that still can ring, forget your perfect offering, there is a crack in everything, that's how the light gets in.

the dance

2011-06-06T12:19:00.003-07:00

millie on stage

(my pictures never look right on blogger. does anyone know how to fix this?)

sometimes, when i forget how lucky i am to be a mom, i feel like motherhood is a series of breaking up arguments, soothing away tears, diffusing tense situations, and disciplining when things have gotten out of hand. sometimes it seems as though there aren't a lot of heart-swelling-with-joy moments, even though i know there are. i got to have one of those moments on saturday.

millie has been taking ballet for the last year, and saturday was her first performance. when i first talked to her about performing, back when she started to take ballet, she said she didn't want to. she said she wanted to take classes but she didn't want to get up in front of people on stage. i signed her up for class anyway, thinking she would be fine with it as time went on and she became more confident.

for two weeks before the performance, millie was telling me how nervous she was and that it was giving her a stomachache. i was worried that she would put up a fight and that it might come down to me saying, "you have to do this." but she kept going to practice, and rehearsal, and dress rehearsal, and she kept telling me how nervous she was, but she kept going. on saturday we were at the auditorium for three hours before the performance even started. i took lots of pictures and video of the run-through and i talked to millie before she went backstage. she seemed excited and not nervous at all.

when her part of the performance started i had planned on taking a lot of pictures, but i decided to put my camera down. i just stared at her like i was witnessing a miracle. anyone who knows my millie knows that she is usually very quiet, even shy. but on stage her smile was bursting from her face and she performed like it was the most natural, easy thing on earth. i found myself getting all teary at the sight of her, soaring on that stage, doing something that she thought would be too hard for her to do.

is there any prouder moment for a parent than being witness to your child excelling at something they were afraid of? there might be, but right now i can't think of any. :)

oh what do you do in the summertime? seriously.

2011-05-31T10:45:00.004-07:00

a couple of summers ago.

no. really. what do you do in the summertime? when all your kids are out of school?

don't get me wrong. i love my kids. so much. and i love the summer. but sometimes it can be a little bit overwhelming to try and think of ways to keep them entertained for hours on end.

i was making my own list when i saw this great post on sugar city journal with a lot of great tips. check it out if you want. i put up my idea in the comment section, if you're interested!

nine years later

2011-05-16T11:04:00.002-07:00

IMG_2895, originally uploaded by jowrites365.

this is my husband, standing a few feet from the spot where he proposed to me nine years and a few months ago. on this day nine years ago we got married. about this time we would've been taking pictures, deliriously happy and smiling so much that our faces hurt. it was a good day. and we've had so many good and bad ones since.
but honey, i'm so glad that i picked you to spend them with.

hiatus OVER

2011-05-11T14:14:00.000-07:00

so i haven't been doing any blogging lately, or any checking on anyone else's blog (for which i apologize for being a bad blog friend.)

i thought i was done with rough patches. but what i've come to learn and accept is that the rough patches are never over, and that's o.k. when they come i just have to slow down my personal growth for a while, like a tree in a drought.

but i want to get back to blogging! i've missed it! and i just got a new camera and i'm just testing it out and trying to figure out all the manual settings, but that will be good incentive to start blogging a lot more and putting more pictures up.

if anyone is interested in buying my old camera from me at a drastically reduced price it's this one right here. i also have a nikkor AF 50 mm f/1.8 lens that takes great portraits. the nikon d40 is a great beginner dslr, and i learned a lot with it. let me know if you're interested!

j. tonight

2011-04-07T19:34:00.002-07:00

tonight j. ran down the hallway and crashed into his sister. when i was putting him in bed i told him that he could pray to Heavenly Father for forgiveness, and that He can forgive our mistakes. he told me he would say his prayer after i left the room. this is what i overheard:

"Heavenly Father, please forgive me for hurting my little sister. i'll say sorry in the morning. please bless me. in the name of Jesus Christ. Amen."

lovely love quotes

2011-02-14T10:22:00.001-07:00

on valentine's day, i find myself thinking about love, about what it means to love people and especially what it means to me to love my husband. here are some quotes that i find resonate with me more than any others. and happy valentine's day.

"To love is not a passive thing. To love is active voice. When I love I do something, I function, I give. I do not love in order that I may be loved back again, but for the creative joy of loving. And every time I do so love I am freed, at least a little, by the outgoing of love, from enslavement to that most intolerable of master, myself." » Bernard Iddings Bell

"being deeply loved by someone gives you strength while loving someone deeply gives you courage." -lao tzu

"love is what you've been through with somebody." -james thurber

the csa: or in other words, how not picking out my own produce helped me plan meals faster than usual

2011-01-30T14:53:00.006-07:00

ok, so, joining a csa is one of those things i've been meaning to get around to for about a year now. and last tuesday i finally remembered to make my bountiful baskets order, and nate brought it home yesterday. what a thing of beauty. we chose to get an organic basket which was ten dollars more ($25) but still a great deal, and in our box we got:

a bunch of spinach

a bag of carrots

some broccolini

a bag of yams

a bag of pink lady apples

some blueberries

a bag of celery

2 red peppers

some haricot vert (green beans)

fennel

a really unripe spaghetti squash

grape tomatoes

at first i was like, "whoa. fennel." i've never cooked with fennel before. and i have to admit that i didn't recognize the spaghetti squash as a spaghetti squash until i saw the sticker on it. (i knew it was a squash, ok? i just didn't know what KIND of squash!) after looking at everything i started to feel kind of overwhelmed. but then i decided i paid 25 bucks for this stuff, hence, my goal for the next couple of weeks is to not let any of it go to waste. so i hit my recipe books and the internet and i came up with this menu for the week:

monday: fried rice (to use up leftover rice and ham) with chinese celery salad.

tuesday: tuesday is sometimes taco night around here (partially because it's fun to say, "TACO TUESDAY!" and partially because it was suggested in my new favorite cookbook, the family dinner, which i must post about later.)so we'll have tacos with our leftover meat from last taco tuesday with some black beans or pinto beans mixed in.

wednesday: baked rigatoni with italian sausage and fennel, but instead of using the jarred marinara sauce the recipe calls for, i'm going to make a sauce by roasting the csa grape tomatoes using this recipe. on the side: sauteed broccolini. (i'm so excited because in this one night we'll be using tons of our csa produce! all the fennel, one red pepper, all the grape tomatoes, and all the broccolini.)

thursday: breakfast for dinner, buttermilk pancakes, bacon, and green smoothies (using our csa spinach.)

friday: ginger-carrot soup with parmesan-herb pan biscuits

saturday: invite in-laws, make italian-style meatloaf muffins, roasted garlic mashed potatoes, and green beans with bacon and crispy garlic butter, which is a menu completely from rookie-cookie's blog, which i highly recommend (every recipe i've made of her's has turned out great--so maybe i'll make one of her dessert recipes and make it a rookie-cookie night!

sunday: sunday is nate's cooking day, hooray for a night off!

wish me luck! although it's quite simple this is a pretty ambitious menu plan for me considering i haven't been feeling amazing lately. but family dinner and making good quality food for my family is one of my highest priorities lately...maybe i'll tell why in a future post.

what are you making for dinner this week?

i can't believe...

2010-12-20T11:57:00.004-07:00

...i was ever afraid of having a boy.

charlie,

thank you for making my life silly, snuggly, exasperating, loud, and so much fun. when i saw you for the first time, and they put that bright red hat on you (only for babies born around christmas time,) i fell into so much love that it caught in my throat.

today is your day. today you can drink pop and have more than one treat! i hope that it is so much fun for you, and i hope that someday you understand how special you've made my life.

love, mom

my 4 year old

2010-11-16T20:56:00.008-07:00

today my little boy turned 4. yes, this one:

how can he be 4?

wasn't this yesterday?

and now he's into buzz lightyear

and planning his astronaut career.

happy birthday to my precious, smart, handsome, wonderful, sweet boy.

the doing

2010-11-14T15:13:00.003-07:00

(little c. asleep on the couch.)

"but the biggest mistake I made is the one that most of us make while doing this. I did not live in the moment enough. this is particularly clear now that the moment is gone, captured only in photographs. there is one picture of the three of them sitting in the grass on a quilt in the shadow of the swing set on a summer day, ages 6, 4 and 1. and I wish I could remember what we ate, and what we talked about, and how they sounded, and how they looked when they slept that night. I wish I had not been in such a hurry to get on to the next thing: dinner, bath, book, bed. I wish I had treasured the doing a little more and the getting it done a little less."

anna quindlen

quote via hula seventy

some things

2010-11-02T13:23:00.004-07:00

halloween was short and sweet for us this year. the kids wanted to go to the school carnival without costumes, and i was fine with that. we went to the trunk-or-treat our community did and ran out of candy in about 15 minutes. it was our first trunk or treat and i loved it because we were done so quickly, and the kids got tons of candy without having to go a million different places. wait, is tons of candy a good thing or a bad thing? :)

the best thing to me was the awesome trick-or-treat bags that my mom made for the kids. (isn't she amazing?) i love those bags to death. she also made m.'s costume, the pinafore and the shirt that goes underneath. (thanks mom! you rock!) we lucked out and found sparkly red shoes at target.

this is sufjan stevens. last monday i got to see him live, in concert with my hubby, nene (co-author of this blog,) and nene's husband. it was amazing. it's really hard for me to describe my feelings about this concert in words, but let me just say my mind was blown. it is still being blown. i usually have reservations about using the word "genius" but i have no problem going there for sufjan. he is a genius. the concert was crazy, inspirational, loud, strange, beautiful, fun, enlightening, and haunting. i loved every minute of it and i'll always be glad i got to be there. it was seriously a privilege.

to the rescue

2010-09-16T08:50:00.003-07:00

this morning could have been disastrous. j. woke up grumpy again and was refusing to go to preschool and refusing to wear his yellow shirt as well (they are doing colors this month). i was trying to make french toast and calm the chaos, but heading for frustration central. instead my husband saved me and helped us all laugh. he made goofy faces and got j. dressed and soothed a meltdown when j. freaked out over cutting his french toast. then we got into the car (on time!) to take j. to preschool and CCR was playing on the radio and we drove down the street singing "I WANT TO KNOW, HAVE YOU EVER SEEEEN THE RAAAAAIN." and everything was all right again. thank goodness for this man.

at the park

2010-07-19T08:32:00.004-07:00

we went to the park yesterday evening. it was 92 degrees out, but luckily we went to a great park with tons of big trees. it didn't seem very hot at all.

i love how kids get so excited to play and how lost they can get in it. it's so fun to watch them enjoying such simple things as slides or climbing over and over. i have fun just watching them have fun.

the innocence mission

2010-07-13T08:07:00.001-07:00

have you heard of the band the innocence mission? if you are a kid of the 90's, such as i, then you might remember their song "bright as yellow" which is one of their only tunes to really hit the main stream.

the innocence mission is one band that i feel safe recommending to anyone. teenagers, people who aren't all that into music, my parents who are in their seventies (hi mom and dad!) that's how good this band is. peaceful, lulling melodies, and sweet, meaningful lyrics.

they penned my favorite lines in all of song lyric-dom, (which, if you know how jam-packed my brain is with song lyrics, you know is saying something):

let's get up early now, dive clear into the day

let's get out of the car with open arms, not wait to be embraced.

-from the song "when mac was swimming"

isn't that such a beautiful sentiment? and isn't it just put so well?

this is my soul music. if i could make music, i'd want to make music like this. plain and simple.

so, why all this gushing about the innocence mission? they have a new album out today! it's called "my room in the trees." isn't that a great image? and if you click here you can download two of their new songs, "the happy mondays" and "god is love." also visit their website to hear "spring," which sounds just lovely.

i can't wait to get my hands on the entire album.

p.s. if you're just being introduced to the i.m. try "the lakes of canada," "sweep down early," or "beautiful change."

p.p.s. if you don't like them after listening to those three songs, i'll give you a hundred bucks. just kidding.

before church

2010-07-11T18:02:00.002-07:00

here are some pictures i snapped before church today.

question: do i usually have time to take pictures before church?

answer: no, no i don't.

p.s. sweet m. completely dressed herself AND fixed her hair today. i smoothed out the bumps in her hair a little, but otherwise, that cuteness? all her.

my sweet seven year old

2010-07-06T14:45:00.005-07:00

my sweetest of sweet m.'s,

i can't believe you are seven now. what a great year you've had. first grade, lots of new friends, you were super girl for halloween, you got so sick we almost had to take you to the emergency room, you played t-ball for the first time and started ballet.

i love how kind you are, how attentive you are to your teachers and coaches, how you really want to do your best and please everyone. you try so hard, and i love that about you. i love how much you tell me you love me. i know you mean it.

this year let's have so much fun we just about burst, ok?

love, mom

and one of you today, on your birthday:

a day with the grandparents

2010-07-05T22:48:00.002-07:00

this is what it looks like when my parents come and visit: my kids are happier, my house is cleaner, everything seems sunnier and more fun.

please come back soon.

no time to sleep

2010-06-30T22:38:00.002-07:00

i know it's silly but it makes me so happy to see him sleep. especially with his bum up in the air, which he is doing in this picture though you can't really tell.

once upon a summertime

2010-06-24T12:31:00.003-07:00

we've had a busy-ish summer so far. sweet m. is taking ballet and doing t-ball, we've done a quick road trip, and park day is every tuesday. what's busy to us is probably pretty mellow for most people. that's okay.

my favorite summer days are ones like today. nowhere to go, no big plans, pj's stay on longer than they should, some chores get done and some might not. that's okay.

i'm trying to live by my motto, some lines from leonard cohen's song "anthem." (that i've probably quoted here before, but that's okay too.)

ring the bells that still can ring

forget your perfect offering

there is a crack in everything

that's how the light gets in.

rocket pops and many thanks

2010-06-07T10:43:00.003-07:00

last night we decided to try out our new popsicle molds. we made a mixture out of frozen strawberries, vanilla yogurt, and a little bit of apple juice. then i blended it all up and poured it in the molds. the kids had them for snacks this morning.

review: sweet m. loved them. little c. thought they were cool for one second and then, before even trying a lick, decided they were yucky and wanted a regular popsicle. silly kid!

i thought the molds were great. they froze the pops beautifully, the designs are so cute, and the little tray that catches drips is ingenious! they were easy to get out of the molds, too. just a little hot water and they slid right out. (if anyone is interested they are tovolo popsicle molds and i got them from amazon.)

now i have to take a little minute to say thank you to everyone who has been so kind to me lately. there have been words of encouragement, flowers from my parents, kind comments on the blog, there were really yummy cookies and a thoughtful note from a friend, there have been empathetic conversations and wonderfully capable women who covered for me and didn't make me feel bad about it at all.

one of the worst things about depression for me is how isolating it can be. it is so easy to stop reaching out to people and to convince myself that i'm alone, that everyone already has their group of friends and why would they want me to join in?

but i couldn't possibly feel that way now. not with all of the kindness and love you all have shown me. thank you, thank you!

i feel so happy lately. happier than i've been in a long, long time. and i know a lot of that comes from the happiness and kindness of the people in my life, whether it be old friends, new friends, acquaintances, or blog friends. i'm so grateful.

my new life

2010-05-04T07:53:00.003-07:00

stephanie nielson is my inspiration. i'm not going to pretend that my battle with depression is anything like the trials and struggles that she goes through, but i draw strength from her example just the same. my new life and my new world is one with depression in it. hers is one with scars and surgeries and things i can't even comprehend. if i can face up to my trials and endure them half as well as she as hers, i'll call it good. she's amazing.

'fessing up

2010-04-28T17:26:00.002-07:00

first shot, originally uploaded by girlhula.

sorry for my long breaks and silences here. i have been going through quite the doldrums lately. i guess i didn't say anything to anyone or even admit it to myself because i kept hoping the next day would be better. but it hasn't yet.
i know it will eventually. in the meantime i'm reading a great book called "the mindful way through depression" that i hope will be very helpful.
thanks for reading this blog. i will be back soon...see you on the flip side.

this is my mom. these are her hands.

2010-04-14T15:27:00.001-07:00

when i'm feeling down, stressed, sad, frustrated, overwhelmed, depressed, lonely, or negative, i call my mom.

she is a great lady, this mom of mine.

she tells me, "you can do this!" in a way that makes me believe it.

she says, "i'm so proud of you!"

when i'm feeling like i have such a long way to go, she says, "look how far you've come."

when i tell her that hubby and i are having an argument, she never picks sides.

i know she always has my back.

her prayers are something mighty to behold. they are a force to be reckoned with, and that makes her the most powerful woman i know. luckily she uses her powers for good.

she is cheerful. she is a dang hard worker. she is an amazing gardener and mind-blowing quilter. she makes the best bread and rolls (among other things)i've ever tasted. but the thing she is best at is mothering. in all senses of that word.

y'know how people always say that girls grow up to be just like their mothers?

i can only wish.

I LOVE SPRING!

2010-03-30T11:41:00.003-07:00

i'm trying to remember if i said last september that autumn is my favorite season. did i say that? maybe i meant spring. i love spring. i love that i get to celebrate easter in the northern hemisphere this year, where things are actually coming back to life. it is full of a whole different kind of meaning. i love it. love the pastels everywhere, love the budding trees and the sprouting tulips and other such bulbly flowers. love it. so to celebrate spring, and also because i love making cupcakes lately, we made these.

we made them from scratch with a yellow cake recipe and tweaked it a bit. and we did cream cheese frosting. some of them overflowed a bit when baking, but they taste pretty darn good. another great part of spring--wilton easter sprinkles.
what easter crafts are you doing?

down with the shine

2010-03-30T07:35:00.006-07:00

last night i was watching the avett brothers tiny desk concert at npr on youtube. they are amazing performers. the second song they did (which is so new it's not on any of their albums, DARN!) is called "down with the shine."

down with the shine, the perfect shine

that poisons the well and ruins my mind

i get took for a ride every time

down with the glistening shine.

can i just say wow. this song really struck me, i mean it flat-out banged me over the head. i LOVE those lyrics. how often do i get distracted and caught up with things because they're shiny? and anyway "the perfect shine" is just an allusion, right? that makes my own life look less wonderful in comparison and makes me want more than what i have. that is poisonous, indeed. isn't "the shine" what makes me think that if i only had this new thingy or if i was only like her, i'd be happy. it's not even usually a conscious thing, but still "i get took for a ride every time."

i love the idea of a revolution, and instead of people shouting, "down with the czar!" or "down with the government!" they'd say "down with the shine!"

if you want to watch it go here, "down with the shine" starts at 7:23. or watch the whole video, because it's all great!

most this amazing day

2010-03-23T11:17:00.001-07:00

lately my husband has been like, "what's up with you never posting on your blog anymore?" and i'm like, "i dunno!" so this post is for you, honey.

today when i woke up i remembered that FANTASTIC MR. FOX (more about that later) came out on dvd today, and i was so excited that we went to the grocery store first thing. it was so foggy that it was quite hard to see; but when we came out, most of the fog had lifted.

it had already been a good morning: little c. was great in the store, (quite unusual,) we were both excited to watch fantastic mr. fox, a movie that my whole family has been dying to see since we saw the first trailer for it months and months ago ( i ♥ wes anderson very much,) and we were listening to a great song.

i started looking around my neighborhood, and it was beautiful. the frost had settled all over everything, making even the brown, reedy weeds look beautiful. and everywhere there was steam rising up from the ground, like in brigadoon when it disappears. all of a sudden this poem that i memorized in my first humanities class in college (the class that got me to fall in love with the humanities forever) sprang into my mind,

i thank You God for most this amazing
day:for the leaping greenly spirits of trees
and a blue true dream of sky; and for everything
which is natural which is infinite which is yes

(i who have died am alive again today,
and this is the sun's birthday; this is the birth
day of life and of love and wings: and of the gay
great happening illimitably earth)

how should tasting touching hearing seeing
breathing any--lifted from the no
of all nothing--human merely being
doubt unimaginable You?

(now the ears of my ears awake and
now the eyes of my eyes are opened)

-e.e. cummings

it made me happy. i hope you had a happy day, too.

this too shall pass in the sun

2010-03-12T09:01:00.002-07:00

there are two videos that have come out lately that i have watched repeatedly (mostly because the kids are like, "again! again!") one is ok go's new video for their song "this too shall pass." this video is definitely an amazing feat. it's shot in one long take and they had engineers from all over the country create this "machine" for them. i don't own any ok go albums, but they without a doubt make some awesome videos. this one is my very favorite.

the other one is she & him's video for their single, "in the sun." how adorable is this video? plus, i really want the dress that zooey deschanel is hula-hooping in at the end.

these two videos have got me thinking about other music videos that i've loved over the years and that my kids have loved watching as well. here's a list:

kings of convenience, "i'd rather dance with you"

the shins, "australia"

feist, "1,2,3,4"

fleet foxes, "white winter hymnal"

p.s. for some reason it seems to be cutting off the sides of the videos. if that happens just click on them again and it should take you to the original source.

time off

2010-03-02T15:37:00.003-07:00

the husband and myself have both been feeling a little cabin fever lately. y'know, the winter seems like it has gone on forever, and we both felt like we were in a bit of a rut.

so we planned a short escape; a little road trip to visit my parents and nene. we were only gone two and a half days, but we packed in a lot of stuff. it was really fun for us and the kids. we got a "big boy" bed for little c., sweet m. got her hair cut, we went to a dinosaur museum/park, and we got to celebrate baby s.'s first birthday (even though her birthday is really today, happy birthday you cutie!)

anyway, here are some pictures of the weekend:

this one is so blurry but i love it because this is the way i see sweet m. looking at my mom most often. she loves her grandma so much.

getting in some snuggles with baby s. isn't she adorable?

swimming in the hotel pool.

the dinosaur park. the kids LOVED this.

little baby s. is not such a baby anymore! we had some cupcakes to celebrate her first birthday.

right before we left, my mom sat down with m. and listened to her read. they took turns reading and it was so fun to watch them. m.'s reading skills have improved a lot lately and i think everyone was impressed with her!

i love visiting my family. being around them automatically makes me feel more like myself and more happy. i feel so blessed to have them in my life.

i tip my hat to your quoting

2010-02-25T02:06:00.002-07:00

since jo has been posting a lot of good quotes lately, i thought i'd try my hand at it.

Every single ancient wisdom and religion will tell you the same thing - don't live entirely for yourself, live for other people. Don't get stuck inside your own ego, because it will become a prison in no time flat. Barbara Ward

found via The Generous Wife daily emails

northern lights

2010-02-22T21:45:00.002-07:00

every once in a while i see a movie or a photograph and i think, "i'd like to live inside that (movie/picture/video.)" i've been in love with this song since i heard it last year.

and now i'm in love with the video. i would like to live inside of it. the ripply lake water amidst foresty hills, tearing a thread off your shirt to tie around a bouquet of wild flowers, mossy trees and rocks, and a little cabin in the middle of it all complete with beat-up guitar and vintage piano. and the line, "and all i want is your eyes, in the morning as we wake for a short while."

bowerbirds, "northern lights"

Love-One-Another

2010-02-22T01:52:00.001-07:00

Love-One-Another

I've been reminded a lot about love this weekend. In the temple on Friday night we had over 100 people from our ward turn out. The most amazing part was seeing the people walk in that we knew, hearing other people whisper, "oh, so and so is here!" and being so excited to see them. It was the most joy I've felt in a long time. As a really good friend in the ward said to me, it just felt like heaven.

Today in church our lesson was on President Uchtdorf's talk from General Conference on "The Love of God." I love that talk, it was good to study those questions . . . why should we love God? Why does God love us? And then I remember some of my favorite scriptures in 1 John:
7 Beloved, let us ^alove one another: for ^blove is of God; and every one that loveth is ^cborn of God, and knoweth God.

8 He that loveth not ^aknoweth not God; for God is love.

9 In this was manifested the love of God toward us, because that God sent his only begotten Son into the world, that we might ^alive through him.

10 Herein is love, not that we loved God, but that he ^aloved us, and ^bsent his Son to be the ^cpropitiation for our sins.

11 Beloved, if God so loved us, we ought also to love one another.

This week I'm working on feeling more of the love, for my kids, my hubby, my family, for neighbors and people I meet on the street. And I feel like as I try to be closer to God and what He wants me to do, love will result.

valentine's mix ♥

2010-02-13T11:59:00.007-07:00

part of my valentine's gift to the hubs is usually a mix cd. the last time i made him one it was full of all of "our songs," you know, mush, mush, mush. these have a degree of mush but also there's some fun stuff thrown in there. and every one of them says something about the way i feel for him or the way i hope he feels about me.

1. told you so- the guggenheim grotto

2. first day of my life- bright eyes "this is the first day of my life, glad i didn't die before i met you. now i don't care i could go anywhere with you and i'd probably be happy...i'd rather be working for a paycheck than waiting to win the lottery."

3. real love (beatles cover)- regina spektor

4. lay and love- bonnie "prince" billy

5. marry me- suburban kids with biblical names

6. the book of love- the magnetic fields "the book of love has music in it, in fact that's where music comes from. some of it is just transcendental, some of it is just really dumb. but i, i love it when you sing to me, and you, you can sing me anything."

7. your arms around me- jens lekman

8. only with you- the beach boys "love's so many things that i feel i have only felt with you, and then there are the things that we do, i have only done with you...i know one thing for sure i wanna do, i wanna spend this life with you, only with you."

9. this must be the place (naive melody)- talking heads "and you're standing here beside me, i love the passing of time. never for money, always for love, cover up and say goodnight..."

10. promises- badly drawn boy

11. dreams come true girl- cass mccombs "you're not my dream girl, you're not my reality girl, you're my dreams-come-true girl."

12. i found a reason(velvet underground cover)- cat power

13. if you let me be your anchor- dawes

14. here at the right time- josh ritter

what are some of your favorite love songs?

she & him: volume two

2010-02-03T16:41:00.003-07:00

i really like she & him and their music. m. ward is an amazing guitarist and zooey deschanel, well, i kind of have a girl crush on her. i love her clothes, her hair, and i love her voice. basically, i want to be like her when i grow up. so i'm excited for their new album that comes out in march. you can see the track listings and hear the first single, "in the sun," here.

i mean, look at her. isn't she adorable?

cheap valentine's crafts and decorations

2010-01-26T17:07:00.005-07:00

i la-la LOVE valentine's day. maybe it's because i love red so much, i don't know. i love the decorations, the treats, i love it all. i think my fondness also stems from the idea of giving heartfelt usually homemade gifts to each other.

this year i want valentine's day to be extra fun, but i don't want to spend a lot of money decorating and preparing for it. here are some of the decorations and treats and crafts we've done so far and more that we plan on trying later.

i got some cheap heart doilies at the grocery store and strung red and white baker's twine through the holes. just a few of them together created a cute little garland for the front window.

a fun thing to do with the kids is these crayon/wax paper hearts. ours didn't turn out as planned but we still love them. there's a great tutorial for this on martha stewart.

another cheap decoration i put up is a garland made out of simple white doilies. i just folded them in half with some glue around some pretty white and red ribbon.

i have tons of cute red and pink and white cupcake liners left over from sweet m.'s birthday party, and with those i'm planning on making these cupcakes, also seen on martha stewart.

some other treats we might try are these brownies and these jello treats, both from family fun magazine.

p.s. in looking these up, i've found so many other cute crafts and treats. i think i'll do another valentine's post tomorrow!

sprucing up project: update

2010-01-23T19:02:00.000-07:00

so here are the changes that we've made to the dining area so far. the vibe i was going for was cheerful, vintage, and colorful. let me just say that i did go over budget a wee bit, but i made sure that there was room in other parts of the budget to make up for it.

here it is all together:

one of the details i really love: the curtain tiebacks that look like vintage painted glass doorknobs.

i took this one so you could see our little organization area over by the door. the red clock is metal and opens like a locker door. we put our keys and stuff in there. and the basket is for mail and bills that we need to deal with.

as you can see, the plate wall is still the same, although we have a few more plates to hang up;i'd also like to find some nice things to put on the sideboard.

this area is newly arranged although everything there is old. the "keep calm" poster we've had for a year or more, and i always knew i wanted it in this corner. i just wanted to have some other stuff to put with it. the painting to its left is something i love because it was done by my twin sister when she was very young, (how old, nene, 13 of 14?) and i like the cheerful colors it brings to the kitchen/dining area. the "w" is a few years old and i think i'm going to paint it differently, but i like it in this area of the room.

and guess who snuck behind the curtains while i was taking pictures?

so that's it for now! eventually i'd like to paint the whole dining/kitchen/living area, and maybe get some new chairs, but i must say i'm very happy with it in the meantime.

emma

2010-01-22T14:25:00.001-07:00

it's such a happiness when good people get together--and they always do. -jane austen, from emma

on sunday, masterpiece classic is airing a new adaptation of emma by jane austen, with romola garai as emma, (she's gorgeous, right?) and johnny lee miller (of eli stone and mansfield park) as mr. knightley.

i think this might be my favorite romance in all of austen. and i think it's because emma and mr. knightley are such good friends first. the way they joke with each other and rib each other in a good-natured way, it rings so true for me. perhaps that is because my husband and i were good friends before we started dating and falling in love. it's a wonderful way to do things, i think.

anyway, watch it sunday night on pbs!

love at home

2010-01-21T11:25:00.004-07:00

there is beauty all around when there's love at home.

there is joy in every sound when there's love at home.

peace and plenty here abide, smiling sweet on every side,

time doth softly sweetly glide, when there's love at home.

it's not always like this, but when it is, it's lovely.

fasting for haiti

2010-01-17T23:17:00.008-07:00

photo credit: tequila minsky
yesterday in church we had a lesson about our heavenly families. we talked about how we are all children of God and how that affects how we view ourselves and how we go about our lives.

it made me think of all our brothers and sisters in haiti, and how insanely scary and sorrowful and desperate their lives must be right now. i am not so good at thinking of others before myself. i know it's human nature to focus on our own little families, our own little section of the world, and i am very good at human nature.

but if i were good at being like Jesus and filled with His love, i think i would be thinking far more about haiti than i am. i know it's a far away place that i've never been to, but that doesn't change the fact that we are all part of the same family, and that we are all children of Heavenly Parents who love us all.

i was reading about the conditions in haiti, and looking at pictures here. some of the pictures are extremely disturbing, but i thought, who i am to close my eyes and look away? for these people, this is their reality right now. they can't escape from it.

i'm not suggesting wallowing or anything of the sort. i was praying last night and the thing that kept coming into my head was fasting. i read somewhere that a lot of the people in the affected areas have not eaten for days. i think i can go without food for 24 hours and give the money that i would've spent to the red cross, or doctors without borders, or lds humanitarian services. maybe going without food for that long will help me in some small way to understand what the people of haiti are going through.

if you'd like to join me i'll be fasting tomorrow, tuesday, january 19th, one week after the earthquake hit.

p.s. i decided to do my fasting one day later just because i posted this so late. so anyway, wednesday. of course if you choose to you can fast whenever you want!

free dirty projectors music

2010-01-12T22:27:00.004-07:00

if you want a couple of free dirty projectors' songs, go here and all you have to do is type in your email address. they send you a link, don't worry if it takes a while.

project 365:2010 update

2010-01-10T20:37:00.003-07:00

so i've only been doing this 365 project for 10 days now, and i can already tell you; it's hard. i never plan out a shot for each day, i try to just see where each day carries me. but sometimes i admit i find myself scrambling to take a picture of something before the light gets too bad. which is not what it's supposed to be about. it's supposed to be inspiring me to look for beautiful things in my everyday life, not necessarily to go outside of my normal patterns to find something i think is photo-worthy. y'know?

one thing that i've noticed though is that it has helped me look at things with a more critical eye. and even though i've taken ten pictures, there was only one time i didn't cringe while uploading them to my flickr account, and that was with this picture. not because i think it's great, but because i know that when i took it i was feeling inspired, and not, "oh crap i've got to take a picture, quick!"

here's to more of the feeling inspired moments and less of the other kind.

and i hope all of your new year's goals and projects are going very, very well.

the sprucing up project: dining room (area)

2010-01-06T22:29:00.005-07:00

one of my new year's projects is to "spruce up" my house, one room at a time, one room per month. oh, and my budget is $50 per month, so no major changes this time around! just a good spruce: a deep cleaning, an organizational overhaul, and maybe a couple of new decorations if possible.

so this month i'm starting with the dining room, which is technically a dining area. i've already done a couple of things with this room, the EAT letters and the plate wall, but i wanted it to look more finished and i needed some kind of organizing system in place since this is where we come in from the garage (through the laundry room.) the other MAJOR need in this room is curtains for the sliding glass door area, which used to have vertical blinds covering it, but they have since broken (and let's face it, they didn't look great in the first place.)

i also wanted to have a little area for art prints, etc. so i'm thinking i'll need a picture frame or two.

here are the before pictures:

next week i think i'll post some inspiration pictures from magazines and blogs that i'd like to incorporate into this space. and sorry if this is extremely boring i'm just doing it for myself, to have it all recorded.

but it would be helpful if anyone has any insider tips or special sources for super cheap home decor stuff! thanks!

"when i get older i will be stronger"

2010-01-04T19:23:00.003-07:00

so it's only a few days into the new year, and i've been thinking a lot about motivation. it seems like whenever i set any new goal, i usually do really well with it for the first few days, and then something happens to throw me off track. i get sick or one of my kids does, i wake up late or forget, you know, LIFE happens. in spite of my best intentions i can't plan for every circumstance, and i get thrown. my carefully-crafted schedule seems useless, my goals seem too hard, and i think, "why am i doing this?" or "i'll do it some other time," or the worst one of all, "i can't do this."

i don't know about you but this is something that ALWAYS comes up with me. it's not a possibility, it's just an eventuality. and i've been trying to plan for it this time. none too soon either, because this morning i got thrown a little kink in my day. (and the smallest thing can really get to me.) i started to feel like some of the things i had planned for today could wait for another day. and i was frustrated.

then i thought to myself, "this time is going to be different," and i called my mom, my greatest cheerleader, and she said, "you can do it! just keep at it!" and i read my favorite quote (now my motto) to her:

My dear brothers and sisters, don’t get discouraged if you stumble at times. Don’t feel downcast or despair if you don’t feel worthy to be a disciple of Christ at all times. The first step to walking in righteousness is simply to try. We must try to believe. Try to learn of God: read the scriptures; study the words of His latter-day prophets; choose to listen to the Father, and do the things He asks of us. Try and keep on trying until that which seems difficult becomes possible—and that which seems only possible becomes habit and a real part of you. -President Uchtdorf, from last general conference.

then i put on this song, turned it way up, and got to work.

p.s. what do you do to get or keep yourself motivated when you feel completely defeated and you just want to give up?

project 365:2010

2010-01-02T20:37:00.005-07:00

in an effort to improve my photography and get inspired creatively, i'm taking on a 365 day project. one photo a day for the entire year of 2010. that's it. i didn't pick any theme, i figure it's going to be hard enough to get myself to do one picture everyday. but there you have it. i might periodically put the pictures up on the blog here, but i'll be posting all of them here.

and here are the pictures for day one and two.

day 1

day 2.

have you started any projects for the new year?

best songs of 2009

2009-12-31T21:27:00.008-07:00

i wasn't going to do a list like this at all; 2009 was such a GREAT year for music that it's hard to pick any favorites, but then D'Arcy asked for it, so blame her!

"lisztomania" and "1901" - phoenix. this whole album, wolfgang amadeus phoenix, is amazing. it's one of those albums that can make cleaning fun.

"song away" - hockey. watch this video and try not to smile.

"little secrets" - passion pit (any song on their whole album, manners, is amazing. perfect dance music.

"i can see the pines are dancing" - a.a. bondy, from the album when the devil's loose. this song is one of my favorite songs ever. just speaks to me that way. plus i love the title, and it makes me want to take a drive in the mountains.

"you and i" - wilco featuring feist. from wilco, the album. i already quoted this song to my husband on my anniversary, so you can see how much i love it.

"you saved my life" - cass mccombs from catacombs. i was going to quote the lyrics but you seriously need to listen to the song yourself. it's beautiful and amazing.

"i'm a pilot" - fanfarlo. my favorite song on my favorite album (reservoir)of the year. one of my favorite albums of all time. these people are amazing.

"oh no" - andrew bird. from noble beast. he's one of the best lyricists ever, and this song has some of the best lyrics he's ever come up with.

"i'm on my way" - yo la tengo. from popular songs. so mellow, so sweet.

"two weeks" - grizzly bear. from the album veckatimest. this song blows my mind with its amazing-ness. it's too good. the whole album is genius.

"now we can see" - the thermals. from the album now we can see. this song pumps you up. it's like a gritty powerful musical version of plato's allegory of the cave. at least that's what i get out of it! :)

"stillness is the move" - dirty projectors. from the album bitte orca. such weird goodness.

"my girls" - animal collective. from their absolutely stellar album merriweather post pavilion. i've never heard such sweet words set to such strange, cool, peppy electronic music. and i love it. seriously moving stuff. i don't know whether to cry or dance.

"boat behind" - kings of convenience. from declaration of dependence. put on this album, have yourself a dinner party. seriously.

to preview these songs and some of my other favorites of the year click here.

if anyone wants a cd with these songs, let me know!

what were your favorite songs/albums from 2009?

nothing changes on new year's day?

2009-12-31T14:22:00.004-07:00

you know that u2 song?

all is quiet on new year's day

a world in white gets underway

i want to be with you night and day

nothing changes on new year's day.

right now the house is quiet except for my "best of 2009" playlist, the husband took the kids sledding and snowmobiling. here's how he looked:

(handsome, right? i'd steal that hat from him if i thought it would look as good on me.)

anyway, the house is quiet and i'm thinking about all the goals and plans i have for this new year and whether i'll be able to accomplish any of them, let alone all of them. i tend to dream big and have small follow-through.

but right now i'm thinking i don't care about the past. i think things DO change on new year's day. i'm thinking i will accomplish my goals this year.

i'm thinking about how i've cleaned my whole house in preparation for the new year (like the chinese do for theirs) and tonight, how we're planning on incorporating another chinese tradition into our new year. the tradition is that at midnight you open all the doors and windows in your house to let out the old year. (i don't know if we'll open ALL of ours, brrrrr! but we're going to do it!)

when 2010 comes around i want 2009 out of here. it was a great year in a lot of ways but i'm so excited to start the new one. it's my clean slate, my world in white getting underway...

it was just like christmas

2009-12-27T14:23:00.003-07:00

i hope you all are having the merriest of holiday seasons! here are some images from ours so far that i don't want to forget:

camping out by the christmas tree

watching and waiting for grandma and grandpa

making sugar cookies with grandma

looking at the tree christmas morning

don't ask me why little c. was sitting on daddy's shoulders...he just wanted to, i guess.

in the bleak midwinter

2009-12-24T13:00:00.002-07:00

what can i give Him, poor as i am?

if i were a shepherd, i would bring a lamb;

if i were a wise man, i would do my part;

yet what i can, i give him: give my heart.

merry Christmas, everyone! i hope your season is filled with cheer and love and peace.

free christmas music!

2009-12-10T15:20:00.003-07:00

just in case you hadn't heard, itunes is offering a free holiday music sampler (i think it's just available for a few days.) it's twenty songs, all different styles from weezer to david archuleta to sarah mclachlan to rascal flatts, and it's all free. just go to itunes to download.

found out via stephmodo

2009-12-04T08:48:00.001-07:00

twoofthosetoo, originally uploaded by yyellowbird.

if we wait for the moment when everything, absolutely everything is ready, we shall never begin.
-ivan turgenev

In the Spirit of Thanksgiving

2009-11-23T00:57:00.000-07:00

In the Spirit of Thanksgiving

Wow, I can't believe Thanksgiving week is here already. I just loved this video. I LOVE Thanksgiving. I really missed not having this holiday when we were down under. I think that anyone can benefit from stepping back and looking for things to be grateful for. When I think of everything I could mention, I get teary.

it's nice to know

2009-11-19T13:43:00.002-07:00

that these guys weren't a fluke. their second album, contra, which comes out in january, is sounding like it's going to be almost or just as good as their first. this is the video for the first single from the afore-mentioned album. it's called cousins, and it doesn't stink!

todaysmama holiday meme

2009-11-18T13:59:00.006-07:00

Mama’s Holiday Wish List Meme
TodaysMama and Provo Craft are giving away a sleighful of gifts this holiday season and to enter I’m sharing this meme with you.

1. What 5 items are on your holiday wish list this year?
a new lens for my camera, a hand-held blender, camera gear, adobe photoshop cs4, and books! books! books!
2. What is your favorite handmade gift you have received?
when i was a teenager i started to make a hand-bound book and never finished it. years later my mom finished sewing the pages and bound it for me. it was an amazing present.
3. What handmade gift have you always wanted to tackle?
a really funky afghan.
4. What was the best Christmas gift you received as a child?
my parents always made christmas so fun, it's hard to say. probably when they gave me and my twin sister each a little kitten.
5. What items are on your kid’s wish list this year?
c.: anything with car, truck, or robot. m.: art supplies
6. What is your favorite holiday food?
my mom's homemade rolls. they are perfection.
7. What will you be hand-crafting for the holidays?
i might try a gum-drop wreath i just saw on a blog, or help the kids make their own snow globes
8. What is your favorite holiday movie?
it's a wonderful life. hands down, favorite movie of all time.
9. Favorite holiday song?
"christmas time is here" from a charlie brown christmas. (but i really love so many others)
10. Favorite holiday pastime?
hanging out with family and watching my kids open their presents.

i can see the pines are dancing

2009-11-10T15:06:00.005-07:00

on a recent fall-getting-close-to-winter day, we all went to the park together.

can you see m. at all in this first one? she's standing under that really big tree.

it was cold. this is m.'s cold face:

this is when daddy helped her cross a fallen-tree bridge.

here is little c.'s cold face:

here is m. playing on the bridge

i like the way the light turned out in this one:

daddy climbed quite a tall tree, like a conquering hero:

i just loved the way little c. was looking down in this one:

our halloween

2009-11-06T01:04:00.007-07:00

i suppose i should finally put up our halloween pictures. it's taken me a while because i've been working nights and i've been pretty tired. but halloween was AWESOME! the best part about it is that j. has forgotten his trick-or-treating candy and i don't have to worry about inordinate amounts of sugar going into his system. oh, and i thought it was so funny when people were asking what kind of candy s. likes. she's barely 8 months. give me a break.

at the stake halloween carnival with the cousins.
going trick-or-treating!

buying that firefighter costume for j. was the best money i've ever spent! can't wait to see what he wants to be next year.

all hallow's eve (and week)

2009-11-02T11:09:00.002-07:00

halloween week is always such a blast in our neighborhood. we get to go to the ward party, the school carnival, and then regular trick-or-treating. i had lofty aspirations for costumes this year and once again fell back on the store-bought stuff. oh well, these kids look cute in everything! and they had such a fun week.

first snow

2009-10-30T00:04:00.006-07:00

since j. is in his "terrible twos," some days go more smoothly than others. tuesday was an awesome day for us. we woke up to a thin blanket of snow, and j's reaction to it was just the best. his being excited about it made me more excited. and i've been pretty excited to see snow, after nearly 5 years without experiencing it. there's just something about getting to see things through your kids' eyes, it makes me feel so blessed to be a parent.

first look

first touch

first snowman

today i'm trying...

2009-10-26T12:55:00.002-07:00

3., originally uploaded by m a v.

"This is the true joy in life, the being used for a purpose recognized by yourself as a mighty one; the being thoroughly worn out before you are thrown on the scrap heap; the being a force of Nature instead of a feverish selfish little clod of ailments and grievances complaining that the world will not devote itself to making you happy."
-George Bernard Shaw
Epistle Dedicatory to Arthur Bingham Walkley
“Man and Superman: a Comedy and a Philosophy”

today i'm trying to not be a feverish selfish little clod.
found quote via here.

they are so good, so good you see!

2009-10-21T22:38:00.003-07:00

kings of convenience have put out their first album in about five years this week. why the title of this post from green eggs and ham? it's because i'm as sure as sam that if you try kings of convenience, especially this album, you WILL like them. i almost never buy entire albums of music and even more rarely recommend a band or musician to everyone i know. but i am doing that right now! if you have ears that work you'll love these guys. they're mellow and cheerful at the same time. they have the most beautifully harmonizing voices since simon and garfunkel.

go listen to a lot of it for free here.

better yet buy it for $7.99 here.

what are you waiting for? hop to it!

when i was afraid

2009-10-19T13:13:00.000-07:00

sweet m. called me from school on tuesday around noon. i came and picked her up and i could tell she was feeling horrible. on friday morning she was doing a lot better and we almost sent her to school, but i felt like we should keep her home one more day just in case. that afternoon she was lethargic, her cough had become much, much worse, and her temperature was up. i took it at home and it was 101.3. after trying to contact our family doctor a few times i took her to the urgent care, where they found her temperature to be 105.3 degrees. they almost sent her straight to the emergency room (they said 105 temperature can cause seizures) but instead they attempted to get her temp down there. when we left about an hour later her fever was back down to 101.4 and she was feeling a lot better.

they gave her a prescription and she has improved a lot over the last couple of days.

it's such a relief. i can't explain how terrified i felt when they said she could be having seizures and that they were considering sending her to the e.r. you know, there are so many times when m. frustrates me and i forget to see her for how precious and special to me she really is. the only good thing about her being that sick was it really put things into perspective. it didn't matter that sometimes she can be pouty or stubborn. all i could think of was how much i love her, how kind she is and how helpful she tries to be with me, how concerned she is for people around her. and how incredibly blessed i am to be her mom.

the magic numbers freebie

2009-10-18T23:00:00.002-07:00

do you like the magic numbers? i'm a big fan of their sound. they are offering a free download of one of their new songs, called "hurt so good" through their website and their myspace page. click here if you want it, you just enter your email address.

i've listened to it once. it seems like quite a departure from their earlier stuff in some ways, but i like it.

get well soon, my sweet niece

2009-10-16T17:40:00.004-07:00

hope you are feeling better, m. we love you!

"blue skies" by noah and the whale

2009-10-11T16:51:00.005-07:00

for a limited time, (i'm not sure how limited,) you can download the "blue skies" single from noah and the whale's new album called the first days of spring for free. just click here! i've only listened once but so far i'm really liking this song a lot!

albums i'm excited for: volume 1, devendra banhart's "what will be"

2009-10-11T16:02:00.002-07:00

devendra banhart is really strange. and i love it. i love his freakiness, i love his folkiness. i guess that's why his stuff is called freak folk. anyway, he has a new album coming out on october 27th called "what will be" and you can hear two songs from it already. the first one is called "baby" and you can listen to it on his myspace page.

the second song is called "walillamdzi" and you can watch a video of devendra and his band recording the new album that is set to this song over here on stereogum.

p.s. i'm really liking "baby" a lot. check it out!

back in the U.S. of A.

2009-10-10T21:36:00.009-07:00

ok, so it's been a couple of months since we moved back to the States. i guess i kind of turned the blogging over to jo because she's been doing such a great job. but we had an experience today that's worth writing about.

this afternoon we went to a pumpkin patch.

we paid 5 bucks per person and got on a trailer hayride, pulled by an extremely old-fashioned tractor.

this wasn't even the tractor. the tractor that pulled us was even OLDER.

then we got out to the pumpkin patch.

more pumpkins than i have ever seen before! we got to each pick our own pumpkin out, and they had some HUGE ones.

i know that this might not be blog-worthy to some people. but, to us, it was the perfect afternoon.

here's the reason. we are just thrilled to be here. we love the mountains, love the friendly people, love the way people get into the holidays here.

we LOVE halloween. we used to celebrate it in australia, but it just wasn't the same. a lot of our friends there consider it an "american" holiday (which i guess makes it unworthy of celebrating :). i used to pray i would find an orange pumpkin in the grocery store for us to carve. last year i actually talked to the produce manager and he special ordered me a couple from queensland. guess how much they cost . . . $19.99 each! therefore, we only bought one. so when we sat on our hay bale and came within sight of the pumpkin field, i actually felt like crying. to be back here, with family and friends, and get to experience autumn and halloween simultaneously this year, it's just THE BEST!

brushing aside waves to look for water

2009-10-08T19:54:00.005-07:00

home life. it doesn't offer many surprises. there are so many chores. it's easy to get discouraged (for me at least.) i get frustrated with my children a lot. i let them watch too much t.v. i feel like there are too many improvements that i need to make.

luckily i get reminders, almost daily sometimes, of how lucky and blessed i am. seeing nie-nie on oprah, conference, capturing a moment with one of my children in photo form, or reading a really good quote.

like this one that my friend kat put up as her facebook status a few days ago, "If you seek some special life outside of daily activities, that is like brushing aside waves to look for water."

little c. at 2 and 3/4ths years old

2009-10-07T20:10:00.002-07:00

***these pictures and this post are from a long time ago, for some reason i never published them.

favorite song: "tell it to the volcano" by miniature tigers

favorite primary song: "i am a child of God"

favorite color: blue

favorite meal: cheesy tortillas

favorite outfit: anything involving a yo gabba gabba! t-shirt

favorite thing to do while millie's at school: throw ball with mom

favorite t.v. show: yo gabba gabba!

sweet m. at 6 years and some odd months of age

2009-10-06T22:01:00.002-07:00

this is how i will always think of you looking at 6: bangs always slightly askew, top front tooth missing,that tiny scar on your cheek from when you fell off your bike a few months ago,and always mixing patterns in your clothing, always dressing yourself exactly how you want.

a couple of weeks ago i asked the kids a few questions about themselves and wrote them in my journal. here's what millie said:

favorite song: "winter white hymnal" by the fleet foxes

favorite primary song: "i love to see the temple"

favorite color: tie between pink and red

favorite smell: the way my hands smell after i wash them with lots of soap (no joke this is exactly what she said.)

favorite meal: mac and cheese or mashed potatoes

favorite outfit: red tanktop that has white and blue butterflies on it, with white shirt underneath, and jean cut-offs

favorite book: goodnight gorilla

favorite thing to do at school: go to lunch

favorite t.v. show: the electric company

vampire weekend's drinking horchata

2009-10-05T15:55:00.006-07:00

if you enjoy both "free" and "good music" you should definitely get yourself over to vampire weekend's website, where you can currently download a single from their album that won't be out till january 2010. it's called "horchata" and it's sounding pretty good to me.

keep on trying

2009-10-05T12:49:00.003-07:00

"my brothers and sisters, don't ever get discouraged if you stumble at times. don't feel downcast and despair if you don't feel worthy to be a disciple of Christ at all times. the first step to walking in righteousness is simply to try. we must try to believe, try to learn of God, read the scriptures, study the words of His latter-day prophets, choose to listen to the Father, and do the things He asks of us.

TRY, and KEEP ON TRYING, until that which seems difficult becomes possible, and that which seems only possible becomes a habit, and a real part of you."

-president dieter f. uchtdorf

i was in a pretty dark place when conference started this weekend. i felt another depression coming on and i was feeling guilty and terrible about that. facing another major episode of depression was wearing me out and i didn't feel like i could do it anymore. so many of the words and songs at conference uplifted me and restored my spirit. especially these words of president uchtdorf's. i feel like if i can just keep trying, someday i will be the person that i want to be.

husbands and wives

2009-10-04T11:36:00.003-07:00

old married couple, originally uploaded by AnguSung Photography.

one of my favorite quotes from conference so far:

"First, I give counsel to husbands and wives: pray for the love which allows you to see the good in your companion, pray for the love that makes their weaknesses and mistakes seem small, pray for the love to make your companion's joy your own, pray for the love to want to lessen the load and soften the sorrows of your companion."

-President Henry B. Eyring

*photo via flickr

turning 30

2009-09-30T13:28:00.010-07:00

last saturday the twinster and i turned 30. i have to admit i was a little freaked out by that number, but mostly happy to be spending our first birthday together in four years.

we went out to dinner with our husbands, hung out with family, drove the alpine loop around timpanogos to enjoy the absolutely amazing autumnal glory, and had a family dinner.

nene put together a slide show of pictures of us from baby to recent and set it to beautiful music--it had me bawling. it was the best birthday present ever. here are some images from our weekend together:

nene took these pictures of my kids and i turned them into polaroid-style images using rollip.com

let the wild rumpus begin!

2009-09-30T11:12:00.005-07:00

i don't know if any of you are as ecstatically crazy to see where the wild things are as i am, but just in case you are, here's some stuff for you:

you can watch the awesome official trailer here (complete with one of my favorite songs by the arcade fire.)

you can listen to the entire (fabulous) soundtrack here.

paste magazine did a great article about the movie version, the book version, and maurice sendak that you can read here.

there's a blog devoted to all things "wild" called "we love you so" here.

* p.s. the movie opens october 16th, in case you were wondering.

blind pilot

2009-09-29T21:46:00.004-07:00

i haven't done a music post in a long while, but i just re-discovered this band blind pilot and i'm really taken with them. falling in love, actually. their sound is folksy and mellow and perfect for fall. (maybe i'll include them on my fall playlist --coming soon!)

you can download a few of their songs for free from their daytrotter session at daytrotter.com

image from daytrotter.com

bananas

2009-09-18T19:26:00.000-07:00

whenever my kids are feeling grumpy and i want everyone to perk up a little, i put on this clip of the aggrolites on yo gabba gabba. works every time.
The Aggrolites - Banana (Yo Gabba Gabba!)

do you have a song that always makes you/your kids happy dance fools, no matter what?

milk teeth

2009-09-17T09:21:00.003-07:00

sweet m.'s tooth was really, disgustingly, loose last week.

then it came out. this is her fourth baby tooth gone, but her first on the top row. i think missing one from the top makes a lot bigger difference.

i'll follow the sun

2009-09-16T20:45:00.003-07:00

i love taking photos into the setting sun. it gives the kids a kind of halo effect around their hair and i think it looks so pretty.

flip flop, part 2

2009-09-12T18:37:00.004-07:00

so you'll remember that last week the flip house (sometimes we call it the bungalow in fond remembrance of our first tiny basement apartment together) looked like this:

one week later and a lot of hard work on the hubs' part, it looks like this: (that's him up on the roof, don't worry, he's a pro.)

it may be the gorgeous people standing in front, but i think the place is starting to look TONS better! (also, it may be hard to tell in this picture but they are each holding a toy tool from little c.'s tool box. he brought it to help daddy work.)

just doing his part!

i know where the summer goes

2009-09-11T22:17:00.007-07:00

today might have been the last swimsuit-wearing, playing in the water day of the season.

sometimes don't you wish you had a camera on your kids twenty-four hours a day so none of the precious moments would be missed? that's how i felt today. so i apologize for the abundance of pictures.

p.s. i'm having trouble getting my images to look right in blogger, sorry.

i'll see you at home

2009-09-08T21:58:00.006-07:00

this is one determined young man. and yes, that corn dog is roughly the size of his head. this was taken at the state fair on monday.

i was thinking about what to write about our experience at the fair, and what pictures to put along with the post. (the only pictures i got were of the kids eating their corn dogs.) i thought about all the fun little day trips we've taken with the kids this summer, sometimes impromptu and sometimes an outline of a plan in place. each trip has had its own unexpected turn, its own small adventure, with some good music and snacks thrown in.

but other than that all of them have had something else in common. no matter how much fun we had i was always excited to get home.

when we reached the point in each trip where someone said, "let's go home," or "it's time to head home," i felt a little thrill of happiness.

i have a home.

and it's with these people.

how lucky can one girl be?

dorothy was so right. i'm going to print out that line and cross-stitch it or something. and then frame it. there really is no place like home.

flip flop flim flam

2009-09-05T20:41:00.006-07:00

the hubs and his family have purchased a house to flip. boy, is it in need of some t.l.c. but we can see the potential:

the porch that was closed in will be turned back into a real porch. the fake ugly stone will be gone. hooray.

a whole new kitchen please. thank you.

look at this beauty of a front door! imagine it all sanded down and re-finished! (or if i can persuade everyone, maybe we could paint it some delightful hue.)

please don't gag when you see the only part of the bathroom i could safely show you:

whaddya think? imagine with me restored hard wood floors, repainted moldings and original doors, maybe some nice historically accurate subway tiles in the bathroom? it's going to be nice, right? right?

ch-ch-changes

2009-08-26T15:41:00.008-07:00

sweet m. started first grade on monday. when the bus dropped her back home that afternoon she said, "i don't like being at school all day. i had a headache, and a stomachache." she told me everything that happened and it sounded like there was some good in there too, but she was NOT looking forward to school day #2. for a brief moment visions of homeschooling flashed in my brain. and then i told her that she would get used to it, and tomorrow would be better, and all those things that i thought moms should say to make situations like this better.

flash forward to day 2:

sweet m. gets home and sits down to take off her jacket and shoes and socks. she starts telling me about her day.

she makes funny faces at me (and models some of the hello kitty swag i got her from the dollar bin at target.)

she gets fake-mad at me for taking so many pictures.

she tells me long, complicated stories about who she played with at recess and how her teacher gave her the "big poster" for being good.

sweet m. is so happy. and all is right with my world again.

squishy little sweetheart

2009-08-09T13:50:00.004-07:00

this squishy little sweetie came to visit (along with her mom, a.k.a. "traveltwin," dad, and brother this weekend. it was the most fun i've had in a long time.
now that they've made the move from down under to the states, i only have to convince them to move into my neighborhood! (i wish...)

sweet m. is 6!

2009-07-08T21:45:00.006-07:00

m. has a little collection of matryoshka dolls (and kokeshi dolls, too) so we thought, "matryoshka doll party!" (you know from this blog's banner that i'm a fan!)
we read about stephmodo's party for her daughter and used her ideas for games: pin the bow on the matryoshka and hide and seek with matryoshka dolls. each little girl got her own little wooden doll to paint, and we read this book. here are some images:

popsicles

2009-06-26T16:09:00.005-07:00

(taken through the screen door...i snuck up on them.)

i'm enjoying the summer so far, are you? when m. first got out of school i was worried and stressed, i thought, "how am i going to keep both of them entertained all day long?" but things have worked out quite well. we've had a few craft days, we've been to the zoo, we've gone to park day, the library, and we went to the river to feed the ducks a couple of times. but mostly things have been really laid back. kiddie pools in the backyard, swimsuits all day long, and popsicles. lots and lots of popsicles.

guest post on the exponent

2009-06-22T07:39:00.001-07:00

my good friend D'Arcy asked me to do a guest post for her on a blog for mormon women that she contributes to called the exponent. she asked me to write about mormon women and depression and i wrote about my personal experiences with it. i tried to be as honest as possible. if you want to read it, go here.

new (really old) piano

2009-06-16T09:54:00.004-07:00

ever since i had a home of my own to put one in, i've wanted a piano. i remember hours upon hours of forced practicing from my own childhood, but also hearing my mom play hymns on sunday morning, learning to play a "famous" piece and feeling so proud of myself, and eventually teaching beginning students myself.
so when we found this oldie at a campus sale, and the price was right, we got our piano. the piano tuner came this week and told us our piano was made in 1907 in new york city. just imagining the different places this piano has been, all the different people who played it and stood around it singing... it made it through the roaring twenties, the great depression, both world wars, and traveled across the united states. that in and of itself makes it worth the money to me.
but the fact that now i have a piano to teach my kids to play on, to play primary songs with them, to re-teach myself some of my old favorites, to have music, our own plunked-out music in my house, now that's just priceless.

yes, those are my son's fingers inside that goat's mouth

2009-06-04T19:00:00.003-07:00

the boy has no fear

great new albums

2009-05-29T12:43:00.004-07:00

au revoir simone's new album, "still night, still light" is my favorite of theirs yet. if you like soft sweet female vocals mixed with some great electronica beats, you'll like them.

i love grizzly bear's music. they have such a great sound. i love how innovative they are without being too intimidating. and anything that even faintly reminds me of the beach boys is ok in my book!
suggested track: two weeks. (listen for free on their myspace page.)

and now the best of all the game. i've seriously fallen in love with fanfarlo. seriously. i heard about them on npr's all songs considered podcast, on which they played "the walls are coming down" from the new album reservoir. on a hunch i went to itunes and downloaded the entire album (only 5.99 for the entire thing!) and i am so happy i did. every song is amazing. the more i listen the more i love, which to me is the hallmark of a truly great band.

what are you listening to lately? do share!

proust questionnaire

2009-05-29T10:08:00.000-07:00

have you heard of the proust questionnaire? if you like "inside the actor's studio" then you're familiar. they also run it in vanity fair. here's the description from vanity fair's website:

Since July 1993, the back page of Vanity Fair has been devoted to the Proust Questionnaire, in which a noteworthy person answers a series of personal questions. The questionnaire has its origins in a parlor game popularized (though not devised) by Marcel Proust (1871–1922), the French essayist and novelist, who believed that, in answering these questions, an individual reveals his or her true nature.

and here are some of my favorite answers that various celebrities have given

-which living person do you most despise?
generally, i tend to despise human behavior rather than human creatures. -sidney poitier
-what do you consider the most overrated virtue?
no real virtue, if such, can be overrated. - umberto eco
-what are your favorite names?
aureolus theophrastus bombastus, and jim. -umberto eco
-what is your greatest fear?
finding a panther in my bathroom. -ellen degeneres
-what is the quality you most like in a man?
uxoriousness. -emma thompson (uxoriousness is defined as having or showing an excessive or submissive fondness for one's wife.)
-how would you like to die?
improved--and loved. -marcel proust
-what is your greatest regret?
not telling my husband I loved him 20 times a day. - katie couric
-how would you like to die?
i would not like to die. -david mamet
-what is your motto?
my motto is “be prepared.” I am told this is also the motto of the boy scouts, but, if so, this only proves that they were acting according to my motto earlier than i. -david mamet
-which historical figure do you most identify with?
columbus—if it’s true that he knew where he was going, got lost, and found a place that was better. -dustin hoffman

and here is the basic questionnaire so you can play along! if you want, leave some of your answers in the comments. i think it's a fascinating way to get to know someone...
1. What is your idea of perfect happiness?
2. What is your greatest fear?
3. What is the trait you most deplore in yourself?
4. What is the trait you most deplore in others?
5. Which living person do you most admire?
6. What is your greatest extravagance?
7. What is your current state of mind?
8. What do you consider the most overrated virtue?
9. On what occasion do you lie?
10. What do you most dislike about your appearance?
11. Which living person do you most despise?
12. What is the quality you most like in a man?
13. What is the quality you most like in a woman?
14. Which words or phrases do you most overuse?
15. What or who is the greatest love of your life?
16. When and where were you happiest?
17. Which talent would you most like to have?
18. If you could change one thing about yourself, what would it be?
19. What do you consider your greatest achievement?
20. If you were to die and come back as a person or a thing, what would it be?
21. Where would you most like to live?
22. What is your most treasured possession?
23. What do you regard as the lowest depth of misery?
24. What is your favorite occupation?
25. What is your most marked characteristic?
26. What do you most value in your friends?
27. Who are your favorite writers?
28. Who is your hero of fiction?
29. Which historical figure do you most identify with?
30. Who are your heroes in real life?
31. What are your favorite names?
32. What is it that you most dislike?
33. What is your greatest regret?
34. How would you like to die?
35. What is your motto?

hail the conquering graduate!

2009-05-28T22:43:00.006-07:00

yesterday was sweet m.'s kinder graduation. both sets of grandparents and one aunt came to celebrate! it was so sweet, a real rite of passage.

somebody apparently told lil' c that he was the entertainment for the evening.

they had them walk in like they were in a wedding, you know "step-together, step-together" but they didn't walk in to "pomp and circumstance." i think it was "start spreading the news..." much more festive. try telling sweet m. that. she looks like she's in church. or prison. don't worry, it gets better...

finally, a smile! hooray, i knew she could do it!

ok, i am a silly mommy, i put up two pictures of the singing gestures, but let me explain. at the christmas concert a few months ago m. was not the most excited performer. she barely moved her lips, looked like she was in physical pain, and wouldn't do any of the hand gestures. so this is major steps forward, my friends!

she got her diploma! and i took a really bad picture of the back of this kid's head with m. in the background!

sweet m. with her teacher, mrs. d. she was such a great teacher.

i think my favorite part of the whole experience was a slideshow that they showed in between the songs and the diplomas. i was really trying to hold back the tears but man, did i bawl like a wee tiny baby! i just kept thinking, i put her on a bus, and she has this whole other life, this whole other world that she's a part of without me. and she's getting so big!

bittersweet symphony

2009-05-27T07:43:00.005-07:00

sweet m. just came out of her room and said, "i can't believe tomorrow is the last day of school!" my sentiments exactly. it really is difficult to believe that she's been a kindergartner for a whole school year now, and that in a few months i'll have a first-grader on my hands.
i think m. has grown so much this past year. not just academically although she has improved so much in that arena: she can read pretty well, (beginner well), she can count to one hundred and beyond, add and subtract. but the thing i notice most is how she sees someone she doesn't know very well and she says a cheerful "hi!" when she would have looked away shyly before. and how she'll sometimes even look an adult in the eye and tell them thank you. a whole bunch of little things that probably don't mean squat to anyone else, but to me mean that she's coming out of her shell, and that she's going to be fine out in the great big world.
here is a little plaque we made as a gift for sweet m.'s amazing teacher, mrs. d. she's been so good to m. this year i just didn't know how to thank her adequately. an all-expenses paid trip to the bahamas or caribbean was a little out of our budget, so this'll have to do for this year.

it's back, it's back, IT'S BACK!!!

2009-05-22T11:02:00.003-07:00

what's back, you might ask, and why are you getting all crazy about it?
it's

SO YOU THINK YOU CAN DANCE

and it's really my favorite show of the summer, possibly of the whole year. (i am a little crazy about lost, too.) but there's just something about sytycd that makes me happy. which is weird because i can't stand american idol and haven't watched it in years ( i know i'm strange, please still be my friend!)

anyway, it looks like they're off to a great start already this year. and more bollywood dancing? yes, please!

passion pit (silly name, great music)

2009-05-21T23:27:00.003-07:00

lately i've been trying to find music that is really dance-able but isn't typical "dance music." so i'm really glad that passion pit just came out with a new album. really fun to dance (or do the dishes) to, but also quite original.
*bonus: you can download the entire new album, manners, for $2.99 here. what a deal!

suggested track: "to kingdom come"

kid style

2009-05-20T23:11:00.005-07:00

{twirling with the eyes closed}

do you remember what your style was like as a kid? was it something you ever thought about? what about your kids now, if you have kids?
i remember in fourth grade there was this new girl that moved in mid-year. she had clothes that i thought were so pretty, long blond hair that was always perfectly fixed, and these shoes that i really coveted, they had zippers. my style was more like sweet m.'s is now. kind of weird stuff put together, hair simply down or pulled back in a bumpy ponytail with lots of strands loose, and maybe the odd piece of kid jewelry. definitely lots of friendship bracelets. there was a certain point where i had so many they were about half way up my forearm! i thought they were so cool!
with sweet m. i usually try really hard to let her do her own thing, even when i think it turns out really crazy. the other day she wore a pink shirt with tiny hearts printed all over it, this checked skirt, and leggings with hearts printed on them. to complete the ensemble she chose her white slip-on shoes that have different color stars everywhere. pattern on top of pattern on top of pattern! but that's fun, right? right?
how much guidance do you give your kids in what they wear? do you pick out the outfits but let them choose which day to wear them?
just wondering. :)

fun, fun, funny in the sun, sun, sunny

2009-05-18T23:26:00.005-07:00

you and i

2009-05-16T08:10:00.000-07:00

today, may 16th, nate and i have been married for seven years. this is our favorite engagement picture-- the one we keep on our wall to remind us that we were once blissfully, can't-keep-hands-off-each-other, enchantedly in love with each other.

of course seven years, two kids, and tons of problems later, we are different people. and we love each other differently now. neither one of us could've guessed that the shadow of depression was already falling over our lives, or how that would affect the next seven years. it's been a tremendous seven years, full of many hard, hard times, and i'm glad that he stuck with me.

i guess jeff tweedy kind of summed up the way i feel about how we stand now,

you and i, we might be strangers

however close we get sometimes

it's like we never met.

but you and i, i think we can take it

all the good with the bad,

make something that no one else has

but you and i

from song "you and i" on the new wilco album

happy anniversary, honey. however hard it's been, i'm glad you chose me and i chose you on that day. i can't imagine a better father for my kids, or a more patient and hardworking husband. and let's face it, sometimes you just crack me up. let's keep choosing each other, ok?