twin b-day

i love, love, love this picture of jo (on the right, people)! it doesn't seem like that long ago that we were there, celebrating our 21st, wasn't it? that makes me feel so old.

on her birthday, i would like to share just a few of the many gifts jo has given to me. i thought anyone who reads this might like to do the same.

without my sis i have zero fashion sense. this goes back to when i was 4 years old and would wear the exact same sweater over and over again until my mom pried it off me to wash it. my trouble goes back a long way. jo has always believed in more variety, more style, and more quirkiness too. she's got great taste!

jo has taught me a lot about compassion and thoughtfulness. she's been known to cry for others' sadness, even if she doesn't know them. she has a big heart.

one of my favorite things about jo is she's a great listener. i always know if i talk to her or share a problem with her she won't ever judge me or give me unwanted advice. she always lets me vent without repercussion. i love that about her.

well, i could go on, but i'll just say happy birthday to my lovely sister who i love and miss so much. you are a beautiful sister and friend to me.

happy birthday, lovely nene.

of course this is a christmas picture, and not one of us on our birthday, but i don't have any of us together on our birthday scanned into the computer. this is nene and me on a christmas morning, mid-eighties, ('86? '87?) oh so many moons ago.
nene,
back then (or even just a few years ago) i never could've imagined spending a birthday apart. now that our lives have changed and we live in our happy little homes in two different hemispheres, i'm glad that you have such a wonderful family down under to take care of you and have fun with on your birthday. but i'm selfishly so sad that we aren't together on our special day.
here are some birthdays from olden times that i remember:
1. our first surprise party, when we had no idea and the shock was so great, and there were kids from church and kids from school, and we got so many presents that i thought i was going to burst with excitement.
2. our seventh (i think seventh) birthday, when mom and dad took us to disneyland (our first time, and my only time!) and you had just recovered from the chicken pox but were still covered with scabs, and people must've looked at us strangely but we were having too much fun to care!
3. that party we had in high school, when we were juniors or seniors (my memory's bad) and so many kids came, (even some of the cool kids) and everyone had a really good time, and then the cops showed up because our neighbors had seen some kids in the front yard holding plastic cups (that really had punch in them) and thought we were drinking or something. that was freaky. and cool.
4. in college when pretty much the entire apartment complex threw us (and brentar) a party and there was music and tons of people and you gave me that cd you made for me (the first mix cd i ever got) and it was so amazing that i played it over and over and over and seriously, to this day, it's one of the best presents i ever got.

i love you, big sis. even though our birthday is hardly on the same day anymore (blast the time difference!) i will always think of it as our birthday and never as my birthday. and i can't wait till the one we get to spend together again. (let's throw a big party!)
jo

a song to make you happy.

so i've loved the shins these long years, that's no news story. and then when their latest album "wincing the night away" came out, i was really predisposed to like the song "australia," what with having the ties with australia that i am blessed to have. but then i heard the song, and it was bouncy and happy, and i really liked the music. and then i listened to the lyrics, and they were really good. then yesterday i stumbled upon this video. and what can i say, it makes me happy! i hope it does the same for you.

saturday at the show

saturday was our second year at the royal melbourne show (for americans, that's like a state fair). it was fantastic! j. enjoyed everything more now that he is nearly two, and we took him on some of the kiddie rides. we also had a good time eating chocolate from our cadbury showbag! here's some pics of the fun:


and yes, i managed to pick the only one-eared horse for j. to ride on.




the little lamb loved nibbling j's fingers. he didn't let it bother him though.

little c.'s photo shoot

charley harper

due to a happy accident, our kids are now proud owners of charley harper's abc's, a beautiful board book of animal drawings by the amazing modernist ilustrator charley harper.
i found out about charley harper a while ago and fell in love with his simple colorful illustrations. so i added the abc book to my amazon wish list. hubby thought he would purchase a book for me from my wish list for my upcoming birthday, and not realizing it was a children's book, bought this one. but i couldn't be happier. it's a gorgeous asset to my kids' libraries, and i'm so glad they have it!





get your own here

cupcakes and imperfect perfection

tonight sweet m. and her papa baked some cupcakes, and then she and i decorated them. she kept saying, "this is so much fun. i love this." and it made me happy to see how much she enjoyed everything she was doing.
while we were frosting and decorating i was thinking about how wonderful it is that kids just enjoy themselves and don't get caught up in trying to be perfect. sometimes i tend to worry about making things look just right, but i love how sweet m. just threw the sprinkles on and let them fall where they may. she wasn't worried about making them look perfect, and she helped me to remember that there is more than one right way to do things. i think they turned out just right.

where i live

haystacks at sunset, originally uploaded by jowrites365.

this was taken across the street from sweet m.'s school, maybe half a mile from our house. yep, i live in the boonies.
i apologize for the lack of posts lately. i'm going through a rough time, but i know things will pick up soon.
see you on the upside!

my little man these days

so many pictures of sweet m. lately, which is great. but i know you all are aching for a pic with little c. in it. so here you are:

this was taken while we waited on our front steps for sweet m. to come home on the school bus. i like this time of day because it's just me and little c., all fresh from his nap, ready to run around outside a little. good times.

memes. they're pretty fun.

One Word Meme: found this on meetmeatmikes from about a month ago.

1. Where is your cell phone? bag
2. Your significant other? downstairs
3. Your hair? blech
4. Your daughter? asleep
5. Your son? asleep
6. Your favorite thing? books
7. Your dream last night? unremarkable
8. Your favorite drink? water
9. Your goal? happiness
10. The room you’re in? messy
11. Your church? Jesus
12. Your fear? un-living
13. Where do you want to be in 6 years? home
14. Where were you last night? home
15. What you’re not? skinny
16. Muffins? cinnamon
17. One of your wish list items? bicycle
18. Where you grew up? colorado
19. The last thing you did? read
20. What are you wearing? grey
21. Your TV? lost
22. Your pets? none
23. Your computer? mac
24. Your life? happy
25. Your mood? varies
26. Missing someone? nene
27. Your car? minivan
28. Something you’re not wearing? socks
29. Favorite store? anthropologie
30. Your summer? allergies
31. Like(love) someone? lots
32. Your favorite color? red
33. Last time you laughed? tonight
34. Last time you cried? today
35. Who will repost this? unknown

nie

i don't know how many of you have heard about stephanie of the nie-nie dialogues and her tragedy. i didn't know what to say about it, but luckily frances has done a great post on it over at her blog. please check it out, and donate if you can.
thanks.
***update: bro jim has a wonderful post on this family as well.

monkey monkey underpants

to tell you the truth, jo, i've been kind of blue lately too. we must be twins or something. anyway, i thought i'd include a quote here from gilmore girls that really got me laughing last night. and it also kind of explains why i haven't been writing lately, in a weird way.



Lorelai: No, I'm not, because it turns out I can't write.
Rory: Oh, sure you can.
Lorelai: No, I can't. I stare at the blank page and I just keep staring and staring and eventually I have to get up and lubricate my eyeballs, otherwise they'll fall out of my head like raisins.
Rory: Well, are you using a pen? You can't just stare at the paper, you have to have a writing implement of some kind.
Lorelai: I have a writing implement. The problem is that everything I write just sounds so schmucky.
Rory: I'm sure that's not true... Sounds like you're overthinking this. Maybe if you just put pen to paper --
Lorelai: I tried that. I thought, I'll just sit down and write whatever comes. No judgment, no inner critic -- boy, was that a bad idea.
Rory: Really? Why?
Lorelai: Because my brain is a wild jungle full of scary gibberish. "I'm writing a letter. I can't write a letter. Why can't I write a letter? I'm wearing a green dress. I wish I was wearing my blue dress. My blue dress is at the cleaners'. 'The Germans wore gray, you wore blue.' Casablanca. Casablanca's such a good movie. Casablanca. The White House. Bush. Why don't I drive a hybrid car? I should really drive a hybrid car. I should really take my bicycle to work. Bicycle, unicycle, unitard, hockey puck, rattlesnake monkey monkey underpants."
Rory: "Hockey puck rattlesnake monkey monkey underpants"?
Lorelai: Exactly! That's what I'm saying. It's a big bag of weird in there. So I think, well, I need inspiration.

sky blue sky

in sweet m.'s kinder class they are learning about colors. today's color is BLUE. the kids are encouraged to wear the color they are learning about, so m.'s outfit today was completely blue.
to go along with the blue, a picture of the sky a few evenings ago when we took a family walk.




i'm feeling rather blue today, myself.

sweet m.'s first day of kinder

oh, it was lovely. she looked so cute and of course, her style was all her own. i thought i would get emotional seeing her sit at her table in her new classroom, but i was too stressed out to get emotional. it was hard juggling her school supplies, holding little c., and sweet m. wanting to hold my hand! but it was great. we started a new journey today, and it's going to be great.

i helped sweet m. sharpen her pencils, and i thought the shavings were very beautiful.

some sharpened by her, some by me.

new and shiny backpack, pandapple, hanging out with maddie the matryoshka.

brand new school shoes. oh, i love these shoes. wish they made them in my size!

i had her stand by the door and pretend she was leaving. *sighs.

she got bored of waiting around and kept asking, "can we go to my school now?"



to deal with the boredom, she started playing around with my glasses.

the full outfit: i suggested the top (it's new) and cut her jeans into jean shorts for her. she insisted on socks pulled up, and her new ladybug shoes.

outside the brand new school. they just finished building it.

i was so glad she got to sit at the red table, red being her favorite color. i took this picture, then i picked up little c. and left her all on her own. she had a brilliant day.

my midnight confession (at 2:48 pm)

in lieu of d'arcy's post a while back full of confessions, i have decided to make one of my own.
i watch the hills. i know what you're thinking (at least i think i know): "dirt! trash! mind-numbing idiocies! demonstrative of why this country's going to h-e-double hockey sticks in a hand-basket, so to speak!"

and to you, i say, "i know, i know. but i can not help myself. i know it's stupid, vapid, and trashy. but i love it. i love those girls. i love how lauren keeps saying she wants to get away from all the drama after which she immediately embroils herself in more drama. i love how audrina constantly plays with her hair and constantly gives justin another chance while we yell at the t.v. "do NOT give that jerk another chance, you sweet girl!" i love how gorgeous whitney has a kind of valley-girl-ish accent, but is so sweet, so GORGEOUS, and so unbelievably willing to listen to all the ups-and-downs of lauren's life, that it kind of makes me want to talk like her by the end of every episode.

until i snap out of my hills' trance, get off the couch, and face the real world with people who don't have extensions, mani/pedis every week, and go out to the most exclusive clubs every night.
can someone please tell me why i'm so intrigued by these peoples' lives? i'm not at all interested in that kind of lifestyle. in fact i find it rather silly most of the time.
so i convince myself that it's an anthropological study, like watching a national geographic special. yea. that's what it is. that's why i love them thar' hills.

the truth, vol. 2: the pills that you take to stay happy

i'm the only 28 year old that i know of who has a pill organizer. (let me know if there are any others out there, we could form some kind of support group!) i was quite embarrassed just buying it, like a teenaged girl who has to buy a box of tampons on her own for the first time. but i thought it would make my life a little easier not to have to rack my brains thinking, "did i already take that pill today?" so into the shopping cart it went. and i felt like an eighty year old for a little while until i got over it.
the truth is that i've been on more medications than i can remember since i was diagnosed with depression. i guess i've been on it and off it for about 5 years now (probably mostly on.) i've taken prozac, zoloft, wellbutrin, cymbalta, effexor, wellbutrin xl, and a few more, including the one i'm on now. there have been times when i was so frustrated about side effects, figuring out dosage, doctor's bills and pharmacy receipts, repeating my medical history yet again to another new doctor who only might be able to help, worrying and praying over the safety of breastfeeding or being pregnant while being on meds; that i have given up. i've given up more than once. but i guess i didn't give up permanently because i'm still trudging on. i can say that while nothing has really helped me feel great, the stuff i'm on now has probably helped me the most, which i'm really grateful for.
even though i have bad days, (like today: i forgot to take a pill yesterday, and today has been quite bad,) and days when i feel like it's horrible that i have to rely on medication to make me feel almost normal, most of the time i'm just glad to have it. i can't imagine living in a time when they didn't have anything to help people like me and maybe some of them ended up getting locked away. (have you read "the yellow wallpaper" by charlotte perkins gilman? yikes.) there are so many things to be grateful for, and one of these days i'll get around to posting about the blessings of having depression. until then, you have some belle & sebastian lyrics to keep you company:
i said goodbye to someone that i love.
it's not just me, i tell you it's the both of us.
and it was hard, like coming off the pills that you take to stay happy.

trying to throw his arms around the world

trying to throw his arms around the world, originally uploaded by jowrites365.

sweet m. lost a tooth

no. literally. she lost it. yesterday after some unexplained accident involving a toy whistle in her mouth, her little brother, and a door or a bed, (it was hard to get information from her while she was wailing and blood was running out of her mouth,) two of her teeth seemed really loose. when she woke up this morning, one of them was gone, just gone! we looked all over her bed for it, and we still haven't found it.
we told her not to worry, the tooth fairy will still come.
what's the going rate for a tooth these days?

miss you