how do you deal with a big blow in your life? do you talk it out? do you shout, scream, throw things? do you go on a walk? a run? do you escape into a book or movie? what do you do if you can't talk to someone about it?
have you ever had something shock you? just take the breath right out of you? a moment where your vision focuses in, like you've got blinders on, and then there's a silence like ringing in your ears, and then you hear the thing that changes your life forever? you had no idea. no idea. it might be too much. more than you can take right now.
and then maybe the tears come automatically. there may be sobbing, the kind the shakes your whole body and wears you out. and then you're just tired for a long time, and trying not to think about it and thinking about it too much. but what happens after that?