Wednesday, July 30, 2008

i don't know if i could pull that off...

to go along with my post about things that make me happy and also d'arcy's post about fashion and personal style, i want to discuss something that i've been thinking a lot about lately, and that is this question:
"can i pull that off?"
i think that many of us have a tendency to look at a cute trend, or a girl whose style we admire, and think, "i like that, but i don't think i could pull that off." and i've been wondering a lot about that lately.
are we denying ourselves the pleasure of participating in a trend (or maybe it's not a trend, but something outside the norm, something quite daring and different) because we're worried about what people would think? and what exactly is "pulling it off", anyway?
of course it's true that certain looks are not going to be flattering to every body, and i personally feel that skinny jeans are better left to skinnier girls than me. (even though i love them and think they are so cute.)
but what's the harm in wearing a funky hat, or shoes that are a little off the wall, or big dangly earrings?
i think i became especially sensitive about this after having babies and depression and weight gain and just not feeling like the same person. i started thinking, "i'm chubby now, and chubby girls can't pull of that hairstyle/that beret/that scarf."
does anyone else ever do this? do you ever put limits on the things you can wear because you think your face shape is wrong for it or your coloring or your body type?
just recently i was in urban outfitters. we were just looking for some funky accessories for our house. on my way to the register, i saw a table full of cute berets/tams (whatever you want to call them.) i've wanted one for quite some time now, but i found myself thinking, "i'm too chubby, i'll look funny in a hat like that." but this time i walked over to the hats and tried some on. and then i did the craziest thing, i bought one!
in the car on the way home i explained to my husband that i keep telling myself, i'll dress cute when i've lost the weight i need to lose. or i'll do that activity later, when i look different or when my depression has improved a bit... i keep putting these limitations on myself. so i told hubs, "i got the hat because i want to change that. because i don't want to put off doing the things i want to do and wearing what i want to wear."
and i wore the hat a couple of days ago to the grocery store with kids in tow.
the end.

8 comments:

kim* said...

you would be surprised at how people that dress cute don't think they look cute. i really don't dress sup anymore, i don't like tight jeans they feel so uncomfortable. i think it is about what you like, cause most the time i go shopping at trendy places, nothing is cute and everything trendy is so gross. it takes a long time for me to find something and i wear it out as in it gets worn out.

D'Arcy said...

YES!!!! This has been a whole new awakening for me this year. The Power of Now, that book, really helped me decide this. I ALWAYS did that to myself because apart from those two years when I was an anorexic, I've always been a bit chubby. Now, loving my body, no matter what size, I realize that most people (who I don't need approval from) are just fine with the way I look.

I love that you bought that hat! I have been getting bolder in my fashion too, wearing things I thought I couldn't pull off (um because most of my wardrobe was the slimming black nondescript things that made me feel comfortable.

I came over here today to tell you that I ordered that hat from Urban Outfitters that you posted last time, that red beret! Yes, we should now go out without hats and tell the world to just #%$& off. Sorry, that's bad to fain profanity on your blog, but that's been my attitude lately and I love it!!

Way to go! Thanks for sharing these moments, they are big, even if you don't think so at the time!

jomama said...

kim,
i think you're right. it's about what you like. if it's trendy or completely out of style, it should be up to you, right?
d'arcy,
i'm so glad you're loving your body now, and i'm so HAPPY that you bought that red beret! i think i might buy it too! then we could be red beret twins. you're fabulous, d'arcy!

D'Arcy said...

obviously I meant "go out with our hats!"

and we should.

and your fab too!

Hey, It's Ansley said...

Have you been reading my private journal? I always think that I'll get cute clothes when I'm thinner. It's so dumb! So I get to think I'm ugly b/c I'm fat and I hate my clothes. I could at least have cute clothes! Good for you for taking the risk.

jomama said...

ansley,
that's exactly what i mean. but we should go for it, don't you think?
and thanks for visiting!

Katherine said...

Way to go Jo!

jomama said...

thanks, kat!